Tuesday, May 02, 2006

nature is my church

(seen on a bumper sticker I wish I'd bought)

Killing time in Bath. I thought I wouldn't have hardly any internet access, but there's a cafe right next to the train station.

So, Glastonbury. Was a lot of fun. Almost didn't get there (stupid Bank Holiday bus schedules), but I made it eventually, on an absolutely glorious day that was not as warm as it looked. I keep forgetting how far north the UK is. I really want to buy a sweater, but I know as soon as I do it'll warm up.

But I was sitting on the bus, driving through the gorgeous countryside, and it just kills me that people live here, day in and day out, in a place like this. It's always surreal to visit a place that you've only seen in the movies.

Glastonbury is a great mix of the sacred and the profane. Absolutely packed because of the holiday. I'd been there before, on my high school trip, when I was still a good Catholic (in practice if not at heart). And now I've been there as a half-assed pagan, visiting the Chalice Well and poking around all the hippy Wiccan shops full of stinky incense and god-awful fantasy art (fantasy art is SO GAY. Seriously. Have you seen this stuff? Exactly like that Tom of Finland art but with dragons. And nobody seems to realize it either. And don't get me started on "Goddess" art). The Chalice Well was beautiful, of course, sunshine and flowers and children playing by the spring waters. It did me good; I haven't had a chance for quality Mother Nature time in a long while. I visited the Goddess Temple as well, which was nice, I've never been in a Goddess temple before, in fact I've never been surrounded by so many out pagans in my life. I only know one other person back home, and she's interested more on an intellectual than spiritual level. It really hit me how thoroughly identity is constructed by community; how much more stronger and stable one's self feels when surrounded by like minded individuals. I have so many different "Me"s, I get tired of them all, juggling them all depending on my situation (today I'm a Janeite! But tomorrow I'm a feminist! Next I'm an ex-Catholic! and on and on). Who I am always changes and it kind of wears you out.
So yesterday I got to be my tree hugging pagan self, which was wonderful, I don't often get a chance to feel that. I got a tarot card reading, which I'd never done before (because it's so!fucking!expensive!). Nice little old English lady Spiritualist, who was amazingly accurate and helpful. Mostly. Apparently the spirits neglected to tell her I'm a big homo. " Your husband will be very sensitive and spiritual!" I'll have kids too. Maybe I should have corrected her, but I figured she was just reflexively filtering everything through the heterocentrist constructs in her head. Pagans can be incredibly heterosexist, it's why I'm not into mainstream Wicca. They're not always so radical and different as they like to think they are.
But all in all it was an unexpectedly nice May Day. Life is just incredibly good right now. About fucking time too.


At 4:26 AM, Blogger HB said...

The last three posts were great! And such a good break from writing my thesis. Ten days to go, now - I'm really looking forward to MY holiday:-) "Nature is my church" is a typical Norwegian statement too. One of my fellow students asked several people to take "religious and personal photos" (that's the best explanation I can give). More than half of the photos she got back were of trees, mountains, rivers and stuff like that. There were very few photos of churches, or more traditional religious things in fact.


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