Thursday, July 14, 2005

in which I do not bitch about anything. really!

and considering that The Clan is in town for the annual family reunion, which means we now have 8 people living in this three bedroom house (I had to de-gay my room since it doubles as the guest room) and I get to have all 20 of my aunts and uncles trying to fix me up with guys instead of the usual three or four, I'm in a remarkably good mood. Probably because I got out of the family outing to see Jesus Christ Superstar at Local Community Theater, plus the fact that things are going rather well with my current crush object.

Monday (er, Thursday Evening) Madness: In Your Lifetime, Have You..
1. ...ridden on a rollercoaster? All the time. I always loved the names of rollercoasters. The Screaming Eagle, Fire in the Hole, The Mine Train, The Ninja. I get my love of rollercoasters from my dad. When I was little I used to cry because I wasn't tall enough to ride on them with him.
2. ...performed (in any area of the arts) onstage? Now that I think about it, I've performed quite alot. As a violinist I've performed the Brandenburg Concertos, Vivaldi's Four Seasons, Beethoven's 8th Symphony, Strauss' Death and Transfiguration, Copeland's El Salon Mexico, Rimsky Korsakov's Scheherazade, etc. Not to mention the usual school theatricals. My first part in a play was as Mama Bear in Goldilocks when I was six. I got to wear a lace apron and flubbed my line: "Someone's been eating my chair!" I once got cast as myself; I landed a bit part in my high school play, Life with Mother Superior. I played a Catholic schoolgirl named Anne Marie. We didn't even have costumes, we just wore our uniforms. My latest role was performing "The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could" in The Vagina Monologues my junior year of college. So I've gone from fairy tales to monologues about a black teenage lesbian who gets raped, runs away from home, and is seduced by an older woman.
She makes a vodka for herself and then she asks what I want to drink. I say the same as she's drinking and she says she doesn't think my mama would like me drinking vodka. I say she probably wouldn't like me kissing girls either, and the pretty lady makes me a drink. Then she changes into this chocolate satin teddy. She's so beautiful. I always thought bulldaggers were ugly.
3. ...planted a garden?
I used to have tomato plants as a kid. And now I get paid to weed mama's garden.
4. ...ever had to reformat your hard drive due to a virus/spyware? I wish. The damn thing crashed completely and I had to install a new hard-drive. Lost everything from freshman and sophomore years of college.
5. ...written a book? A poem? A song? I've written my fair share of poetry. Most of it is terribly earnest and not very good. I am, however, very handy with a limerick. This is my favorite one:
Ogden Nash wrote verses quite clever
No matter how awful the weather
If a rhyme didn't fit
He just bent it a bit
Until it sounded much bether.

6. ...sang karaoke? I went on a school trip to England the summer after my junior year of high school. We were in this awful hotel in Brighton, and we all invaded the karaoke bar. I sang "Blue Moon" even though it was at least an octave too low for me. I was thinking of the Billie Holiday cover when I requested it, but they played the doo-wop version instead. Afterwards I escaped and spent the rest of the evening talking to the middle-aged security guard, a lovely English bloke who gave me his jelly beans and proceeded to tell me his life story.
7. ...been interviewed by a local tv station/newspaper? I was interviewed about the Jonesborough school shootings after coming out of a movie theater. I think I saw a Leonardo DiCaprio flick. Anyway, I hadn't heard of the shootings and didn't know what the guy was talking about.
8. ...witnessed a tornado/earthquake/hurricane first-hand? Considering I live next door to Tornado Alley, I've seen plenty of storms that produced tornadoes, but I was never in their path. Last summer we managed to get out of Florida the day before Hurricane Charley hit. My grandmother had just died and we had to cut our trip short; later we found out that the hurricane hit the day after.
9. ...participated in a photo scavenger hunt? No. Boring.
10. ...traveled to another country? Just England and France. But give me a year, we'll see how many more I can add to that list.


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