Thursday, July 07, 2005

jesus motherfucking christ sonofabitch

I have a friend in London. English Girl, the one I've been emailing for a few months now.

I think I'll start researching Toronto, just so I'm convincing when I start passing as a Canadian.

I went to London when I was 17, on a school trip. I remember riding those double-decker buses, getting on the tube at King's Cross, having the time of my life.

It feels like an episode of MI-5. I keep hoping Matthew McFayden will show up on screen and tell us it's all been a drill.

I'm worried about my travel plans, of course. I just got my visa. But I'm more upset because I know it's the British government's cooperation with our regime (I refuse to call the Bush Cabal a "government") that's helped make them a target. Said regime has certainly made the terrorism situation much worse than it was five years ago. And there's nothing I can do about it. I'm so mad I could spit nails, I'm worried about English Girl, and there's nothing I can do.

I thought about posting this on the 4th:

Belize: Well I hate America, Louis. I hate this country. It's just big ideas, and stories, and people dying, and people like you. The white cracker who wrote the national anthem knew what he was doing. He set the word "free" to a note so high nobody can reach it. That was deliberate. Nothing on earth sounds less like freedom to me.
You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean. I live in America, Louis, that's hard enough. I don't have to love it. You do that. Everybody's got to love something.
Tony Kushner, Angels in America.

But then I thought, you know, that's pretty cynical and negative. And I'm having a good summer, I don't feel particularly jaded today. A Certain Someone once accused me (indirectly, not to my face, of course) of being bitter, angry, a victim (short-haired too, which is apparently an insult). Well, I'm not a victim. That is one thing I most assuredly am not. But you better fucking believe I'm bitter, and angry as hell. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

You know they sell the Angels in America DVD at Walmart, of all places? They probably think it's about some nice Christian virgin talking to Jeezus.

UPDATE: English Girl is okay.


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