post Pride Fest reckoning

Queer friends I went with: 2

Cameras I forgot to bring: 1

Daily temperature: 100 degrees fahrenheit in the shade

Number of gorgeous dykes/bi/queer girls: 10812374982734101923801983012983029

Number of gay guys in various in various unfortunate states of deshabille: 12918273982734

Number of posters I saw advertising PrideFest at bus-stops: 5

Percentage increase from last year: 100%. Take that, backlash!

Percentage of women with shorter hair than the men: 95%

Percentage of jewelry on sale that was marketed for guys: 95%

Dogs with rainbow bandanas: 500

Photos taken with cardboard cut-out of our Ignoble Leader: 1

Log Cabin Republicans in matching white polo shirts (motto: "We're here, we're queer, we're sorry!"): 2. Definitely the straightest people there.

Times I wished I had a girlfriend so I could take advantage of the opportunity of holding her hand in public freely: 5000000

Times I took a flyer/sticker/leaflet because I thought the girl handing them out was cute: 10

black tank with "LESBIAN" on the front: $10

"Sorry I've missed church; I've been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian" bumpersticker: $1

"The Christian Right is Neither" button: $1

Realizing that this town does have a queer community, if only for two days out of the year: priceless

R, who's majorly into astrology, says that Librans (such as myself) in general have same-sex tendencies. And we saw a booth at PrideFest for a vitamin supplement my mother made me take in high school. Obviously "IT" isn't genetic. You get it from a fatal combination of astrological ignorance and gay pills.