Wednesday, July 07, 2004

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place

Well, I'm back. Next time I'm in a foreign country remind me not to buy so many goddamned books, because you have to drag them all the way home.

I just got back from King Arthur. It was pretty to look at. Too bad it didn't make any sense. Five second summary:

King Arthur: I have managed to read John Locke over a thousand years before he's even born! And I am not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Lancelot: I've been demoted to Loyal Sidekick, and bear a disturbing resemblence to Prince.

Guenivere: Men with chiropractic skills make me hot! Let's have sex!

Tristam, Galahad, Gawain, Dagonet: In war we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It's a busy life in Camelot

Bors: I have to push the pram a lot.

Really, that's all I ended up doing, mentally quoting Monty Python. I loved Clive Owen, but I'm such a huge fan that he could stand on his head and whistle "Dixie" and I'd think he was fabulous. Needless to say they wasted the monumental talent that is Ioan Gruffud. They didn't give him anything to do! They put him in icky black leather and gave him cheesy lines! And Guinevere's the only female character?? I was hoping against hope that they would finally let her be three dimensional, but whatever agency they gave her by making her an archer is completely undermined by the fact that she's rescued not only once but twice. And she has no personality, she's just a piece of ass. I have to admit, she was pretty hot in that warrior-princess get up of hers, what with all the leather and the face paint. So I'm afraid my verdict on Keira Knightley remains the same: still incredibly gorgeous, still annoying. I kind of liked the Psycho Cowboy Saxon chief the best, at least he was interesting, with his shuffling and mumbling pseudo-american accent. Bizarre, but interesting. And I was thrilled by the appearance of Sean Gilder. Hornblower cameo!
Speaking of Hornblower, I think I'll start on the fourth book. I'm currently working on Virginia Woolf's The Waves, which is hardly what you call summer reading. And yes, still slogging through Harry Potter in French.
Reviews of A.S. Byatt and Joanna Harris forthcoming.

P.S. New to the blogroll is Brooke in Boston, the lj of my friend Brooke who I met in France. I'd much rather be hanging out with her than stuck here with my crazy family and my parents' shitty computer.


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