Thursday, November 16, 2006

no cats were harmed in the making of this post

they were threatened, however, and became very annoyed with me.

So, after 2(ish) years blogging, I'm finally doing my first cat post, complete with pictures. I've always considered myself an animal person, I've had pets most of my life, lots of fish, and two dogs, despite my allergies. We had a calico cat named Chablis when I was little, she liked to eat cockroaches and kill bluejays. I like animals, and they like me.

Except for my housemates' cats. They hate me. They've got it out for me. It's a cold war, and they're the Russians, concocting nefarious plans to destroy me while regarding me with an icy, soulless stare.

All I did was move into the room in the basement, but they seem to view me as an invader (housemates say they have some Siamese in them, which may have something to do with it). There's two of them, beautiful blond tabby cats who are determined to reclaim the basement from the evil interloper. I need to keep them out of my room because of my allergies, but I inevitably come home to this sight:

See, the door to my room doesn't quite close completely, so enough nudging and pushing will do the trick, if I've been careless. So they sneak in and sit on my bed like it's got their names on it...whatever their names are. Something hippie and Eastern that I never caught. I don't call them anythihng, just "Git, you!" and "Don't you hiss at me, you little sneak!" I'd call them Cat A and Cat B, but I can't even tell them apart. They're always yowling and complaining at me.

After I got her off my bed she decided to rummage through all my things, and took a particular interest in the postcards of vintage lesbian pulp novels ("Strange Sisters: She Dared Enter a Lesbian World!")I'm not sure what to think of this.

When I do manage to throw them out, they sit outside my room and glare at me through the catflap. Then they scratch at the door and dig at the carpet, trying to get in. I don't know why they're so anxious, all they end up doing is sitting and lolling around. You'd think I got catnip in here or something.

I hope having cats who hate me doesn't damage my lesbian street cred or anything (really resisting the urge to make a bad pussy joke here).


At 1:33 AM, Blogger reasonably prudent poet said...

ok, that demon cat w/ the glowing jawa eyes is obviously out to get you. i mean, just look at it! seriously, don't worry about your street cred here, worry about your immortal soul.

At 2:42 AM, Blogger Winter said...

By any chance was your room their room before you moved in? Watch your back. They definitely want you out of there and cats have ways and means!

At 9:42 AM, Anonymous roro said...

Those photos were really chilling, Andy. Just more evidence of the far-reaching global catspiracy. I think there needs to be some kind of Lesbians Allergic to Cats support group. I would bring snacks.

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Winter said...

I reckon I can win them over though.


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