never a dull moment

(what, y'all weren't into my axe-grinding thealogical rants? Sheesh, tough crowd.)

Anyway, oh god, I don't think I'm going to survive to September.

It's time for the annual Big Fat Catholic Family Reunion, and my uncle showed up at our house this morning with his teenage son, his daughter, her friend, and his two five and four year old grandchildren. My sister Blondie is home (not her real name but it might as well be), sharing the room with me, so there's 10 people in this three bedroom house. Plus one large, smelly, drooly bulldog who makes me sneeze.

Really desperately fighting off the urge to run and hide somewhere.

My 83 year old grandfather has depression, chronic heart failure, post-traumatic stress syndrome (well DUH, he was only shot to pieces at Peleliu, the most pointless battle of WWII), which manifests as pseudodementia, according to his shrink. We were close when I was a kid; and now he likes to entertain himself by trying to set me up with boys. It was his birthday yesterday, we were having cake and ice cream when a monster storm hit, spawned two tornadoes on either side of us, and ripped the roof off the airport terminal. It was the closest thing to a hurricane you can get this far inland. We spent the rest of the evening in the basement, all 500,000 of us, drinking, playing gin rummy, listening to the radio reports, and watching the little ones run around and freak out. We're due for another one tonight. Fun times!

On the plus side:

• I got a job as check-out girl at Local Grocery Chain Monolith, so by the time I actually do get to Arizona, I might have a nickel to spit at
• I unexpectedly came out to Aunt Dingbat, who was very cool about it all, to my relief. And turns out she's all into massage therapy and alternative healing and gave me tons of info and contacts.
• I found this really great post over at Heima, my new favorite pagan blog: Smartass Witch's Guide to Good Livin' in 10 Easy Steps.

and now that I've got my bitching done, I really, seriously, totally am going to do another California post.