in case you were wondering

and I know you were all dying with curiosity, this is exactly how I achieve my Eurofabulous punk tomboi faux hawk. (fuck no I'm not going to no French salon. Have you seen French women lately? With the amount of money they spend maintaining their coifs you could pay off the debt of a small African nation.)

(Though I wonder what would happen if I walked in and said "Make me look like a boy." Or even how I would conjugate that verb...)