this is my last blog post from europe

I'm flying back home tomorrow morning.

And yeah, I'm having a hard time keeping "Leaving on a Jet Plane" out of my head.

Been in Paris the last few days, just hanging out, saying goodbye to all my old haunts; bought my last few books and magazines from Violette. Said farewell to the permanently sleeping cats in the corners of Shakespeare and Co. Might go up the Eiffel Tower, because I've never actually done that.

But I'm in a very bizarre emotional state. Like limbo. I'm still suffocating under this head cold and been dealing with a sinus headache for almost a week now. I'm tired of being cold, and wet, and hungry. The weather's awful. I'm having problems with my credit card again. And I'm scared to go home. When I came to Europe I knew what I was leaving, what I was trying to escape. But what am I going home to?

Paris has been so good to me. So much has happened here that I didn't mention on my blog, for various reasons. But it's been amazing. I find myself in 3W, or Bliss, or Violette bookstore, just breathing it in, as if the air in that dyke space were like nicotine and if I just inhaled enough it would permanently infiltrate my lungs.

But I can't wait for a sweltering Midwestern summer. I feel like it's been winter for a whole year. I want familiar comfort food; peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Root beer floats!

Ironically, as soon as I get home we're going to drive 6 hours to visit my sister in Ohio. And I'm hoping to visit California with my dear friend RC at the end of June. So I'm not putting the suitcase away just yet.

I'm feeling very forlorn. Going to sit somewhere and read.

I'll be back when I'm back.